Friday the 13th part 17 Hitler vs Jason
by weaboo stalin
Summary: The much anticipated sequel to freddy vs jason


im back bitches and i have another tale to tell did you really think i would give up after just 1 story?

One Peaceful day in 1988 at camp crystal lake a couple hours after his murderfest in part 7 Jason Voorhees wanted to sit back relax and watch some full house and family ties and feed his pet gold fish Ulysses in his shack. But then he heard singing in German and loud Nazi disco music. An undead serial killers work is never finished Jason thought smiling to himself under his mask as he gleefully put on his boiler suit and got his machete which he affectionately nicknamed Irving out of the closet .Jason then gleefully walked out of his shack to investigate the singing and that's when he saw Hitler and about 15 Nazis having a party in one of the houses

Jason delightfully ran towards the house .This is going to be fun Jason giggled as he smashed the houses breaker box instantly cutting the power. What the hell was that? Hitler worriedly exclaimed in a keaneau reeves like accent. Come here Hitler gestured towards a tall blonde Nazi .What is it mien furer? the Nazi obediently exclaimed .Go fix the breaker box Hitler sternly said and with that the Nazi went out the back door oblivious to his fate .What the frick is this? he said as saw the smashed fuse box. Just then Jason came up to him and threw him into the broken box killing him almost instantly. O boy oh boy my first kill Jason gleefully thought as the Nazi was spazing and foaming from the mouth.

What is that burning smell ?asked a confused Nazi and almost like clockwork Jason kicked in the back door ripping it off the hinges . Jason was greeted to a room full of 7 Nazis .Who the fuck are you and where's Heinrich? one of them yelled angrily. Jason threw then his machete like a boomerang decapitating all but one survivor. The survivor a short chubby blonde nazi yelled mien furer will avenge me ! With that Jason picked up the portly midget who screamed like a 9 year old who lost a cod match and threw him though a wall killing him instantly and completely destroying the wall .Lucky for Jason a nazi was in that room and as soon as Jason burst in like the cool aid man the nazi pissed himself. Jason then picked the nazi pants wetter up and did pile driver on him splattering his head like a watermelon that had been thrown out the window all while yelling get no scoped .

After hearing Jason yell the 7 remaining Nazis and Hitler quickly fled the cabin .Gosh darn it Jason exclaimed as he saw the now terrified fascist party goers flee the house . But lucky for Jason Augustus the giant but clumsy Nazi tripped while holding an axe instantly decapitating Hanz .After that all of the Nazis where blubbering like idiots after that about how Jason was going to get them. Tired of hearing every ones bitching Hitler kneed Augustus in the groin as Augustus screened like a Japanese schoolgirl who just kissed there senpai before falling to the ground .Lucky for Jason who heard all the commotion and he came running kabobing 3 Nazis on a steel rod .Terrified, Hitler and the remaining 4 Nazis fled running as as fast as they could with Hitler leading .where are we going the female Nazi Helga exclaimed .don't worry babe my totally wicked radical mecha suit is near hear exclaimed a sunglasses and Hawaii shirt clad Hitler in a keaneau reeves like voice .

After running for about an hour the Hitler and his crew came to an abandoned shed Hitler yelled boo ya this is where my totally tubular mecha suit is .just then Jason came out of the woods with a bottle of industrial strength laxatives and jammed all of the pills down Augustuses throat . I dont feel so good Augustus exclaimed and a few seconds later a pressurized stream of shit rocketed out of him sending him flying into a tree at 500 kilometres splattering him everywhere .Terrified, Hitler and the the 3 remaining Nazis ran into the shed .Jason ran in slicing a nazi in half and chucking another one at Hitler but he missed splattering Him on a wall .The remaining female Nazi fled the scene so now it was just Jason and Hitler

Hitler then quickly climbed into his mecha suit and used his saw-blade arms on Jason .Oh gosh darn it Jason exclaimed as Hitler chased him with his saw blade arms but being a clumsy ass clumsy Hitler accidentally sawed the support beam on the shed collapsing the shed on both of them and destroying his saw blade hands .Fuck Hitler angrily yelled . With that the battle was on, Hitler ran towards a house but it was not known to Hitler what happened a few hours earlier . Hitler then saw that one of the two houses was burnt down. Hitler proceeded to pick up one of the burnt timbers and swung it at Jason but Jason grabbed the 10 metre long timber and knocked Hitler like hockey puck into a station wagon .Hitler then pulled out his minigun arms like in wolfenstien 3d and fired them at Jason blowing up 2 cars and shattering almost all of the windows in the house .Hitler then picked up Jason and threw him through the side of the house obliterating the outside wall .Jason then got up and picked up an electrohome console tv and smashed it over Hitlers head obliterating the tv on impact .Hitler then tried to mini-gun Jason again but he was out of ammo hitler then picked up a table and smashed it over Jason . Hitler than slammed Jason into a stove causing a gas leak to blow up half the house and both of them . Oh snap Hitler is indestructible but theirs got to be a weak point on him jason thought to himself and that's when Jason kicked Hitler in his testicles .Oh nien mien only weak point mein only testicle niiiieeen! hitler said in a keaneau reeves like voice and a second after that Hitlers head yea and the nazi woman died of super aids a week later .Jason than walked into the sunset hoping catch the rest of the full house marathon

the end


End file.
